Friday, May 25, 2007

I've always knew that if i want something so badly.. i'll push myself to the edge. Climbing off that edge when you fall however.. isnt as easy as taking that short step back before losing balance.

In the past, i admit i would be in a dilemma whereby i'll let my ego stand in the way of my own physical limit. Well, no one(man) wanna lose face even though they're struggling to stand. I have to know my own limit before i can actually stretch their potential without snapping the safety mark.

Which was harder?
To continue forging ahead when the going gets tough or calling it quit and stop to catch my breath when it hurts so badly touching your limit?

I stumbled before..sometime back in oct'06.. i couldn't bring myself to pull through it when i stepped on that same edge again. Never in my life have i felt so afraid cum disappointment. A decision had to be made. Juz gotta bring myself down to the fact that i wasnt "fit" enough to walk that day.. It sux feeling weak. It sux even more when u know that everyone else could push on but you cant. I felt good going all out during endurance training, it wasnt a good idea doing 100c4 buddha claps, 140 pushups and 100c8 jumping jacks while recovering from flu only a day before the long walk. No one plan to fail but i know i failed to prepare myself to be in my most optimal condition to walk 16klik.

Anyway, no point dwelling over this week poor performance and also the choices i've made. There's still a rewalk to look forward to this tuesday and another shot at IPPT this sat. Hopefully things will turn out better.

Thanks ah wei for motivating me to push on but judging the condition i was in that day, i didn't want to take the risk and be anyone's burden..
I'll catch up.. I promise.. a few steps at a time.

[[Time heals all wounds but how fast you heal depends on yourself and the care and concern you get from the wonderful people around you.]]